Advice for Your 23-Year-Old Self

I'm a sucker for a great piece of advice. I'm also just as inspired by young women who have worked hard to achieve their definition of success and not settled along the way (i.e. Tammy Tibbetts). Since starting to read Danielle Moss and Alaina Kaczmarski's The Everygirl earlier this year, I have consequently been drawn to its profiles of successful women under the Career tab. These are women who own restaurants, have written novels, run non-profits, design amazing clothing, etc. However, I'm especially drawn to the answers to a certain question that each of these women is asked: What advice would you give to your 23-year-old self?

I did turn 24 in July, but I still find their advice incredibly relevant, as if they're talking directly to me. More than once, I've clicked through the entire archive of profiles just to read the answers to this question, given in the form of first-hand advice. I've also saved a list of my favorite responses that are definitely share-worthy.

Image from The Everygirl.

Do not conform to what other people think you should do. Ever. Have absolute faith in your instincts, and be quick to make a decision and stick with it. If you are double-minded, you will never get to where you want to be. Be ready to give up your time and energy to others willingly or freely. Get excited about the opportunity, and don’t ever feel like you are owed anything. I have done work for free, overly given of my resources, and went out of my way to help other people find their passion or success. And those are the things that will reward you the most. Me at 23 would be saying to me at 30, “That’s my girl!”

Ashlina Kaposta, The Decorista Blogger and Interior Designer

Be bolder. Make more mistakes. Fail fast and move forward.
Lindsay Avner, Founder and CEO of Bright Pink

Just keep going. Don’t give up. Have faith in yourself and in the future. Stop thinking you have it all figured out, because you woefully and hilariously don’t. Save more money. Stop making excuses and just DO THINGS. And don’t ever give anything away from J.Crew – you’ll regret it!

Victoria McGinley, vmac + cheese Blogger and Owner of Vivaleur Educational

You’re not the kind of girl who settles. Keep not settling.

Joy Wilson, Joy the Baker Blogger

Breathe, my friend. You are not old, you are young. You are not a mess, you are normal. Extraordinary, perhaps. In the blink of an eye your life will change. And it will continue to change for decades to come. Enjoy it, embrace it…be grateful for the ride. You are not old, you are young. And faith will get you everywhere. Just you wait.
Abby Larson, Founder and Editor of Style Me Pretty

Being the nerd that I am, I pulled all of the responses together to perform simple text analytics on them. The word cloud below shows the most common words used in their responses. The larger the word, the more often it was used. These women have plenty to say about work, time, experience, passion, success, and much more.

I don't know that it would make sense for me to give advice to my 23-year-old self, but I think it does make sense for me to look back and offer advice to my 21-year-old self. If I could talk to that over-achieving college junior today, here's what I'd tell her:

Don't make judgments before you have all the facts. Read more. Continue to be grateful for the family, friends, and opportunities in your life. Learn that truly letting go is part of starting over. Keep spending late nights in the library because your hard work will pay off. Hello, New York City! And, finally, don't be too hard on yourself. You have a lot to be proud of.